


Only love I've ever known

by Saffir



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Reddie, Reddie Fluff, eddie doesn't want to catch feelings, he catches them anyways, sleepover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 02:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21008447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saffir/pseuds/Saffir
Summary: The Losers host a sleepover. Eddie doesn't plan on catching feelings- but his heart doesn't listen.





	Only love I've ever known

**Author's Note:**

> my first IT story! i started this two and a half weeks ago but motivation is a bitch. anyways, i saw IT chapter one for the first time ever with two friends of mine about a month ago, on the same day we went to see the second movie together in theaters- and i fell head over heels for this pairing. and so, i got the compulsion to write something for them- and this happened! albeit the ending is a bit rushed cuz i just wanted to finish it, but i hope y'all will like it!  
(title is from P!NK's True Love)

_And you make me so mad, I ask myself _  
_Why I'm still here, or where could I go_  
_You're the only love I've ever known_  
_But I hate you, I really hate you_  
_So much I think it must be_  
_True love, true love _

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

There was a lot of things Eddie had never thought he’d do- fight a demon clown in a sewer, engage in a rock war, help clean up a bathroom that was entirely covered in blood, walk through graywater- but climbing out of his window at nine at night to sneak over to a sleepover he wasn’t allowed to go to definitely hadn’t made his list. 

Nevertheless, that's exactly what he found himself doing one warm, late August night. His mother had grounded him for an entire month after the whole running-away-and-defeating-Pennywise fiasco, screaming that she was his mother, that he was fragile and sick and delicate and that he needed to listen to her. And then, a mere four days later, his friends had planned a sleepover as a celebration for defeating Pennywise, and despite being grounded, Eddie’d be damned if he was the only one who didn’t show up. So regardless of what his mom had said or what she had threatened to do, he had made up his mind to go. Even if that meant climbing out of his window- and lo and behold, that's exactly what was happening, as he heaved himself out of his window and over the windowsill. 

It was already dark by time he decided to sneak out, as he wanted to be completely sure that his mom was asleep and wouldn’t chase after him. Not that she would catch him, but he’d rather risk the chance of getting back home before she woke up than getting back when she _knew_ he had been gone and had been looking for him. His mom did always wake up late, and he tended to wake up early, so the chance of sneaking out at night undetected and returning in the morning before she woke up was, in his mind, the much better option. 

It was definitely a challenge with his broken arm, but he somehow managed to do it rather silently, landing on the soft grass with a soft _thump_. He thankfully didn’t injure himself- perhaps he should’ve been more careful since the last time he fell one story he broke his arm- and just stood up straight and dusted his pants off. After quickly glancing at his mom’s bedroom window to make sure she hadn’t woken up, heard anything and turned her light on, he took off on his bike towards the clubhouse that the Losers had made for themselves. He rode briefly through the city, avoiding any streetlight he came across just in case someone happened to be looking, before biking towards the barrens. He eventually made his way to the clubhouse in the woods, hopping off his bike when he was about thirty feet away, opting to walk his bike there the rest of the way, given how difficult it was to even ride his bike with a broken arm. 

He quickly realized that Stan was sitting near the entrance, flashlight in hand, clicking it on and off at random, quite obviously waiting for Eddie to arrive. Sure enough, at the sound of Eddie’s footsteps and his bike wheels crunching over leaves, Stan turned around wildly and his eyes lit up. 

“Eddie, there you are!” He had exclaimed, clicking the flashlight back on and pointing it at him, “We were starting to think you weren’t going to show up! C’mon, everyone's waiting.” 

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Eddie murmured, setting his bike down next to the others. “Why are you standing out here, though? Someone might see you and we could get in trouble.”

“Who else is gonna be sitting in a forest at nine at night besides us? Most of the town’s probably asleep by now.”

Eddie shrugged in agreement. “Yeah, I guess you're right.” 

Stan just nodded his head and tugged at the hatch of the clubhouse, and with two good tugs, he managed to open it. Bev’s voice was the first to flow out of it- a simple “Is Eddie here?” before Stan and Eddie hopped down into the clubhouse and nodded, closing the hatch behind them and casting a level of shadow over the interior of the clubhouse. 

Just as Eddie had suspected, he was the last one to arrive. Everyone else was there- Ben was fiddling with the TV, Bev was sitting next to Bill, obviously engaging him in conversation, while Mike sat plainly listening to Richie go on and on about something. Richie’s attention was diverted, however, the second he realized Eddie had arrived.

“Eds!” Cried Richie, fumbling over Bill to get to Eddie (“What the h-hell Tozier?”, Bill had exclaimed indignantly), “You finally made it! What took so long?”

“My mom.” Eddie huffed, a thoroughly annoyed expression clear on his face as he glanced at Richie and then the others. “She grounded me, remember? I had to sneak out of my window to make it here.” 

Bev tore herself out of her conversation with Bill, glancing at Eddie. She winced. “Is your arm okay?”

“Yeah. I managed to jump out without landing on it.” 

“That's good.” She cocked her head, turning her attention to the old TV that she had taken from her house to use to watch movies. “We got Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Karate Kid and Ghostbusters. While we were waiting for you, we decided on Jaws. Hope ya don’t mind.” 

“I don’t mind,” Eddie replied plainly, glancing briefly at the TV. Bev replied with a bright smile before grabbing the remote. 

“Alright, guys, movie’s gonna start.” She proclaimed, turning the TV on. With that proclamation, everyone moved towards the TV. 

As everyone moved towards the TV to sit around it, Eddie plopped right down onto a bean bag chair that Bill had brought- right next to Richie, who had proudly proclaimed it for himself. Of course, Eddie didn’t much care for whatever Richie proudly proclaimed- and so he sat his butt down in the bean bag chair, ignoring Richie’s loud complaints. Richie even attempted to shove Eddie out of the bean bag chair, at which point Eddie loudly swore at him for “pushing an injured person” and shoved him right back with his non-broken arm. 

Bev and Ben were both sat on the left side of the TV, while Bill and Stan sat on the left, and Mike sat on Richie’s left, in between him and Bev. Bev clicked the remote to turn the TV on, before sliding the disc into the slot.

The old TV started up slowly, creaking to life as the movie began to play. Bev, Bill and Richie had all seen the movie before, while the others had never had the opportunity- Eddie’s mom insisted it was “too scary” and that he was too delicate to watch it; Mike’s grandfather had always kept him too busy; Stan never showed an interest in it and Ben just tended to dislike thriller movies. (“Not all thriller movies,'' He had clarified after Richie raised an eyebrow, “Just most of them. Or at least four out of the five I’ve seen.”)

Once the movie was put into the disc slot, Bev turned one of the lights off, leaving a single lamp left on as the only source of light besides the TV- “it's for ambience,” Bev had explained, “thriller movie equals low lighting, everyone knows that.” 

The low lighting immediately casted a feeling of both nervousness and intimacy over all of them. It wasn't a bad feeling, thankfully- after Pennywise, none of them would purposely cause any of the others to feel scared, not even Richie. 

And with a click, the movie began. 

As The Losers had expected, Richie’s commentary began almost as soon as the movie started. Little remarks here and there, (“That's a cool fucking party though,” at the opening scene, and “If I was that guy, I’d have just run in after her. Why give up that opportunity to bang her?” to name a few examples), but he did eventually quiet down for the most part after Bev and Bill feverently scolded him for making comments on everything.

“Those four still haven’t seen this movie,” Bev had hissed, tugging at Richie’s ear as he made a sound that was a mixture of a laugh and a groan, “So be quiet. Don’t spoil anything for them, and let them enjoy the movie without your commentary.” 

“I can’t help i-” Richie tried to explain, before he was cut off by Bev’s hand over his mouth, her other hand pressed against her lips as she shushed him. After a few seconds, she pulled her hand away, just in time for the opening kill of the movie to happen. Richie tried to say something, but Bev smacked her hand back over his mouth as he swore muffled complaints. 

Bev stayed vigilant, however, either covering Richie’s mouth or pinching his ears every time he spoke out, even despite his attempts to stop her.  
And so, with a few pokes from Bev, Richie surprisingly managed to stay somewhat quiet through most of the movie. 

~~~~~

Richie’s odd silence was bound to not last long, as the Losers found out almost immediately after the movie ended and the disc was taken out. 

The second the movie ended, Richie immediately sprung up and immersed himself in a lengthy conversation about the movie with Bev, who, despite having shushed him multiple times prior to the movie, actually listened wholeheartedly and talked with just as much energy. Ben attempted a small conversation about the movie with Stan, who ultimately turned his attention to Bill and Mike, as they started trying to decide on the next movie. 

Eddie, meanwhile, found himself stealing glances at Richie, occasionally tracing Richie’s face with his eyes as Richie busied himself talking to Bev. He’d immediately glance away the moment he even _thought_ Richie was looking his way, which was something he probably should have questioned, but he didn't put too much thought into why he was doing it. He was just doing it, almost subconsciously. 

Perhaps he should have questioned it. At this point he wasn't sure. 

As Eddie tangled with his mind, still stealing glances at Richie as he talked happily with Bev, the others began narrowing down the next movie choice. 

In the end, the next movie they chose was Indiana Jones, courtesy of Bill winning a rock-paper-scissors vote with Mike, who had wanted Ghostbusters. Regardless, he also seemed pleased with the end result, as he grabbed for the disc and handed it to Bill. 

As Bill began to take the disc and put it into the slot, Ben stifled a yawn as he attempted (and ultimately failed) to inject himself into Bev and Richie’s conversation. Thankfully for Ben, the convo ended as soon as the TV once again rattled to life, when Bev hurried herself back over to the TV, and Richie leaned back into the beanbag chair. Eddie walked back and once again sat in the beanbag chair, ignoring Richie’s complaints as he practically sat on top of him. Eddie immediately felt a slight sense of awkwardness (maybe from himself? From Richie? From the both of them? He couldn’t tell) but he buried it down and focused on the movie. Eddie then shifted, leaning back a bit as he half-laid down right next to Richie, and Richie seemed to quiet down. Then, out of nowhere, Richie began to run his fingers through Eddie’s hair, and Eddie quickly buried the wave of nervousness that followed. 

_This is normal_, he told himself adamantly, as the movie started, _Richie’s just being Richie. This isn’t odd._

With a quick show of hands, it was determined that the only ones who hadn't seen the movie yet were Eddie (“You seriously need to catch up on your movies, Eds,” Richie had remarked in a half mocking, half teasing tone, “The only big movies you’ve seen are The Princess Bride and Who Framed Roger Rabbit!”) and Ben, who apparently had just never had the time to watch many movies. 

After the show of hands, the movie began. 

And as the movie played, Richie continued running his fingers through Eddie’s hair as Eddie continued to tell himself it didn't mean anything. 

~~~~~

To no one’s surprise, Stan fell asleep near the end of the movie. It was almost two in the morning, and many of them were surprised Stan hadn’t fallen asleep sooner.

By time the second movie finished, however, Ben was inches from sleep, his head laid against Bev’s shoulder as he fought to keep his eyes open. In fact, Bev herself was almost asleep, her head bobbing and falling against Ben’s as she too fought to keep her eyes open. 

Richie was the only one who was still fully awake, as Bill, Mike and Eddie were all worn out by the end of the second movie. The minute it ended, Mike grabbed his sleeping bag, set it right next to the TV and laid his head down, grumbling out a soft “g’night” before closing his eyes.

“I’m disappointed,” Richie remarked as he glanced at the others. “What happened to the all-night sleepover? It's only 1am!” 

“It's almost 2 am,” Bev yawned, holding her head up, “We can do something more tomorrow, like go to The Quarry. Let's sleep.” As she stood, Ben shifted and stumbled up, nearly falling against her as she softly caught him. “Eddie, did you bring a sleeping bag?”

“Fuck, I forgot.” Eddie swore. “I was so focused on just getting out of my house.” 

“T-take the ha-hammock.” Bill yawned as he tugged his sleeping bag onto the ground, a few feet from the TV and a foot away from Stan, whom Bev had put in his sleeping bag after he fell asleep. 

Bev then dragged her own sleeping bag near Mike’s, as Ben did the same, dragging his next to hers. Eddie smiled just a tad when he saw it- he and most of the others, excluding Bev and Bill, knew that Ben had a huge crush on Bev. It was always both a funny and cute sight to see how in love Ben was with her. Bev quickly laid down in her sleeping bag, tugging on her blanket as she fluttered her eyes closed, and Ben laid down next to her, trying not to stare at her face as she fell asleep. 

Eddie then turned and made his way to the hammock, only to be pushed aside by Richie, who cackled and jumped into the hammock. 

“Goddammit Tozier!” Eddie cried softly, running after him. Richie stuck his tongue out at Eddie, but Eddie was not deterred. With a shout from Richie, Eddie laid himself down in the hammock, pushing his feet against Richie’s face as he knocked his glasses off. 

“Fuck you Eds.” Richie huffed, pushing his own feet against Eddie’s face as Eddie spluttered and recoiled, trying to stay quiet as the others were trying to sleep. 

“Looks like we’re gonna have to share, Richie.” Eddie remarked, heaving himself to the side a little to grab a blanket that was lying nearby. As he sat back up, Richie grabbed the blanket from him with a laugh, taking it greedily as he covered himself with it. Eddie pouted and managed to wrestle enough of the blanket for himself as he laid down with his head next to Richie’s feet. Before Richie could start up, Eddie shushed him and laid his head back, attempting to fall asleep.

Thankfully, before long, Richie laid his own head back and fell asleep rather quickly. 

And that's when Eddie realized he had screwed up.

Richie tended to move around in his sleep. It was something Eddie had known and should have remembered from the countless sleepovers he and his friends had had. And yet he had somehow forgotten that crucial detail- as he quickly realized when Richie’s foot twitched and kicked Eddie in the cheek. 

“Goddammit Richie,” Eddie huffed under his breath, shifting to the side a bit to avoid another kick from Richie’s foot. 

Even in his sleep, however, Richie seemed impossible to deter- and yet another kick landed in Eddie’s face, leaving him sputtering as he glared at Richie’s sleeping face. He was momentarily distracted by said sleeping face, as his eyes drifted and he seemed to unintentionally memorize every feature; Richie’s freckles splattered across his face, his mass of black curls that seemed to lay perfectly on his forehead, his lips that looked perfect for kissing- wait what?

Eddie immediately flushed red and ducked his head, internally cursing himself. _That's your best friend Eddie,_ he chastised, _Your best friend and you think of him that way? What a horrible friend you are!_

He shook his head adamantly before Richie shifted and instead half-kicked Eddie in the shoulder, thankfully missing any part of his cast. Eddie huffed, silently going over his situation. He couldn't fall asleep the way he was right now- Richie would just keep kicking him in his sleep. His only other option was awkward- but Eddie would rather be awkward than be kicked all night.  
And that's how Eddie then found himself waking Richie up.

“What the fuck Eds?!” Richie exclaimed tiredly, rubbing his eyes as Eddie pushed him. 

“Scooch over, I’m laying next to you.” Eddie replied, laying himself down right next to Richie. 

“What the fuck, why?”

“Because you keep kicking me, that's why.” Eddie turned onto his side, pressing his back against Richie’s side. “Okay now shut up, I’m gonna try to fall asleep.”

Richie huffed and attempted to turn to his side, but nearly fell out of the hammock in the process- propelling him to grab onto Eddie and turn him over.

“Richie, what the fu-”

And then Eddie realized he was now laying face to face with Richie, who seemed to have an expression of irritation mixed with tiredness on his face. 

“If we lay facing away from each other, we’re both going to fall. Or at least I’m going to fall.” Richie then, as if to torture Eddie some more, wrapped an arm around Eddie and pulled him the tiniest bit closer. “You said you were gonna go to sleep, so go to sleep.”

_It would’ve been easier if you didn’t pull me closer,_ Eddie thought, gritting his teeth. He could feel his face starting to flush and quickly leaned his face down, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to hide his ever reddening face. Still, he stayed quiet and said nothing, as Richie pulled the blanket over the both of them and laid his head down and closed his eyes. Despite the comfort of knowing Richie wasn’t looking at him, Eddie found himself growing more flustered by the second. The silence of the clubhouse then filled Eddie’s ears, as he was suddenly reminded just how isolated they were, which did not help his situation whatsoever. 

Before he could help himself, hundreds of thoughts began swarming in Eddie’s mind, both of Richie and the group’s isolation. He quickly found himself burying his head into Richie’s chest unconsciously, clenching the fabric of his shirt in his hand. 

Next to him, Richie stirred up at Eddie burying his head into his chest. “Eds? You okay?”

Eddie didn’t reply. He didn’t know if it was out of anxiety or embarrassment, but either way, he kept his lips sealed and his eyes closed. 

Richie seemed to pick up on Eddie’s anxiousness, as he pressed his chin on top of Eddie’s head as he pulled Eddie closer the tiniest bit, yet again. “Ey, you’re safe Eds. Nothing’s gonna get you.” 

Eddie, for some reason, calmed down a little at the statement. Perhaps it was just the calming tone in Richie’s voice, which was oddly absent of any teasing tone. It was sincere, and that was all Eddie needed. He relaxed, leaning into the touch. It was only when he was in Richie’s embrace that he realized how touch-starved he was; now that he was here, he didn’t think he could survive without it. And yet he still wanted something more. Anything more- anything at all. He shifted a little, moving his head, and Richie, perhaps unconsciously, moved his own head in response. Eddie felt Richie’s lips barely brush against his hair, and that tiny little thing seemed to push him completely over the edge. 

He lifted his head up a bit more, until he was almost locking eyes with Richie, whose brown eyes were shining- at least to Eddie, they were- with a mix of both compassion and confusion. 

_Here goes nothing,_ Eddie thought to himself, as he lifted his head up. 

The second their lips met, Eddie’s head went blank. He wasn’t sure if this could be considered a kiss- their lips weren’t really touching that much- but it was enough for him. 

It apparently wasn’t enough for Richie, however, as Eddie found out when Richie leaned his face forward and pressed his lips hard against Eddie’s, taking Eddie completely aback. He still kept his eyes closed, believing he’d probably die of embarrassment if he opened his eyes now. 

Richie’s lips were unbelievably soft and warm, although Eddie could tell he was a total novice at kissing- not that he minded, as he was too. Richie was putting so much love into it, and that’s all that Eddie cared about.

The kiss didn’t last long enough, or at least it didn’t last as long as Eddie would’ve liked. They soon had to break apart for air, and as they both gasped softly for air, they pressed their foreheads together and stared into each other’s eyes. All of the embarrassment Eddie had felt had disappeared- all he cared about now was the warmth and love radiating from Richie’s gaze. As soon as he got his breath back, Eddie pressed another kiss onto Richie’s lips, one that Richie responded to with soft fervor. Richie then gently pressed little butterfly kisses all over Eddie’s face, tickling Eddie as Eddie tried to keep quiet. 

Eventually, Eddie silently laid his head down, wrapping his free arm around Richie. Richie’s eyes softened as he pressed a kiss into Eddie’s forehead. This was definitely a development they’d have to talk more in depth about, but it was currently past two in the morning and they were both tired and ready to sleep, rational thought be damned. 

And so, with the silent agreement to talk about it tomorrow, they both closed their eyes and fell asleep in each other’s arms.


End file.
